Hyper NSFW Review of Hyper Nurse Victory Yuno by BEAT

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Come for the uncensored titties. Stay for the funny story of how I ended up with this figure.

So…How did I end up with this hyper perverted figure? I don’t do hentai figures! No! I mean, I have some girls with pretty skimpy clothing but none of them had the little option to strip them to their birthday suits! Shiiiiiiiiit. Alright here’s the story. I have a friend who is absolutely addicted to stuff like this. Not just hentai figures. He’s got everything possibly related to sex. He’s got hentai wallpapers, dakimakuras, boob mousepads, onaholes. Everything. He’s not some creepy forever-virgin or anything. He’s a stand up guy. He’s pretty cool with girls. He just likes hentai stuff. He doesn’t even use them (I think). He just likes collecting them and displaying them. The brother has a whole wall of his figures (hentai and not) and he’s damn proud of it. So I was just chillin’ with him in his apartment one day. We were playing WWE 13 when he got a phone call. It went something like this:

FRIEND: Hello? Mom! Hi! How’s it been? Wait. xxxxx (ME)’s here. We’re just playing games. I’ll put you on speaker. Say hi.

ME: Hello Mrs. FRIEND.

FRIEND’S MOM: Hello, xxxxx. Is FRIEND keeping his house clean?

ME: Yeah. Why?

FRIEND’S MOM: Son, I’ll be staying at your place for a while. We’re getting the house back here renovated.

At this point, my friend is looking at me with wide-eyed horror while I’m trying to hold in my laughter.

FRIEND: Ah, alright. When will you move in?

FRIEND’s MOM: Tomorrow morning.

Now I couldn’t contain my laughter. I actually had to retreat to the kitchen so my friend’s mom wouldn’t hear me. The next thing after that, my friend sees me in the kitchen and he looked like he just witnessed his own death with how pale and shaken he looked. He was used to hiding his stuff for visitors. Whenever he would have acquaintances who weren’t his close friends over, he’d take a couple days before their visit to hide all his hentai stuff in a room which he keeps in a lock. This was different, we only had the rest of the day to clean everything up and I think it was already 5 PM when this all happened. I stayed over to help him clear his stuff and I spent like 3 hours putting his figures in boxes and replacing the sheets of his body pillows with ones that didn’t have girls in suggestive positions with them. I went home. I thought everything would be done after that. Then, at 9 in the morning the next day, my friend visits me.

FRIEND: Look man. I’m about to pick up my mother at the station but something came up. I need you to keep something for me while my mother’s staying.

He pulls out a big box from his car trunk. He told me that it was a hentai figure he ordered online and it just arrived that morning. I didn’t know what to say. My first instinct was to take the box and hide it in the deepest corner of my room. I knew that nothing good can possibly come out of that box. Later that night I got a message from my friend.

FRIEND: Hey man. Sorry about this morning. My mom’s going to be staying for a month or so. Just bear with me and keep that thing until it’s safe. Look, you blog about figures too right? You can open it up and make a review about it. Just don’t mention me or anything lol.

Yeah, I’m mentioning him. If I’m going down, he’s going down with me. Anyway, I opened up the box and to my surprise, I find Yuno-chan here. I remembered reading a review about her from one of my favorite figure blogs Tentacle Armada. You can check out this review here. You might wanna look at that one too as the version my friend got is different from the one at Tentacle Armada. Now, I’m reluctant to put this thing out here. I have never had bare boobies in my blog but hey, there’s a first for everything right? Alright, sorry for the wait. Let’s get to reviewing Hyper Nurse Victory Yuno!

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Some background on Yuno. She’s an original character by the hentai doujin artist/doujin group Keumaya. She is…I don’t know what she is. She was apparently a limited edition figure back in 2010 and came with a hentai doujin about her and pubic hair stickers. Yes, pubic hair stickers. (Un)Fortunately, this version doesn’t have those things. At some point BEAT picked her up and released her along with several other Keumaya figures in 2012. This is the one my friend ended up buying. As usual, I’ll start the review with her head. She’s got a sexy, naughty looking face. Her head pieces can actually be moved around so you can give her bunny ears or move her goggles if they get in the way at certain angles.

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Liking the silver and semiclear parts on these things. They make her feel bigger.

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Her head would have been perfectly fine if it weren’t for the obvious gap between her bangs and her headband.

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Her hair at the back is also neat with how they twist around to form two pseudo-pigtails.

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Now her upper body is impossibly sexy. She’s got massive breasts while having a lean waist. See, this is the stuff that would make Tumblr feminazis go on novel-length rants about sexism.

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In the original version of Yuno, her syringes had needles on them. A lot of perverted otaku probably complained about getting pricked by those while fapping which is why this version has no needles. Still, they don’t really look like syringes anymore without the needles. Also the mysterious yellow liquid inside those is actually just plastered on one side of the syringe.

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Most hentai figures with removable arms usually have out-of-place armbands around the point the figure’s arm and shoulder meet to hide the seam formed when attached. Thankfully, Yuno has arm sleeves so it looks more natural.

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She’s accented by little bows on her chest, wrists and boots which add sort of a cutesy factor to her. Her syringe gun actually looks pretty lame.

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Her other weapon is a long saw that you slide to a holster. Well, “slide” is putting it nicely. It doesn’t smoothly fit inside and it actually rubbed off some paint on the holster. You might also notice a bit of discolored paint on the cross on her holster.

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She also has a saw-gun which loosely fits on her other hand. This arm is actually pretty loose and while it doesn’t just fall off, it tends to slide out of position over time.

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Her clothes are practically a bunch of straps…

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She has a pair of belts that just hang on her legs and cross over each other. They actually look pretty cool on her. Reminds you that she’s a fighter carrying weapons and not some whore carrying sex toys. Okay, she might be both.

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I would have preffered bare legs myself but I have nothing to complain about these stockings. Her white boots serve a nice contrast to her black leather straps and her fleshy skin.

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Her base is a simple disk. There’s a pole to help her up but she doesn’t need it. The logo at the center could have been bigger.

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With her head and without her body, she kind of looks like an octopus.

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And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for: Bare boobies! Open the floodgates!

IMG_0427Notice the gap below her breast straps and her torso. Also she comes with nothing to hide the gap on her neck unlike the original version. Removing the straps on her collar is not an option either. It would have been better if her head was detachable from her actual head and not midway between her neck. Anyway, she has an interesting feature of having squishy boobs. This wasn’t exactly an arousing experience. It felt like I was pinching a pair of grapes. Still, I chuckled at the novelty of it all.

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Again, the obvious gap under her breast strap. Also, get a good look at those mountains, will ya?

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Next on the list of her cast-offable parts are her belts. You have to remove her top half to take out her belts. I advise removing her head and arms first just to be safe.

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Now her chastity belt-thong-whatever is also removable but you have to be careful because it is freakin’ hard. I struggled so much trying to pull the bottom strap off its slot, I could have sworn I’d be the king of England when I finally got it off. But the result is having Yuno pretty much naked save for her arms and legs.

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She’s got a big ass. And those of you who are familiar with my other figure reviews know that I’m an Ass Man.

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Yes, she actually does have something down there and it’s a nice shade of pink.

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Alright, this review is coming to an end. Time to make my final comments. Okay, Yuno’s got a nice design. She’s just bursting with sex appeal but there’s a lot of quality control issues with her. Her paint job isn’t all that great and there are several areas where the paint slighty bleeds out of where it’s supposed to be. A lot of dark paint gets smudged on to her body and the last thing I’d want is a naked girl with dirt on her. Her figure is a man’s dream. Huge breasts, sexy hips and a fine ass. What more can a man want? Well, I’m not just looking at this figure as a man, I’m also looking at it as a collector. Design wise, she’s great. Everything from her proportions to her color scheme work to make her as sexy as possible BUT, and I mean a big, Yuno-sized butt, her paint issues along with the lack of a collar to hide the gap on her neck really take away a lot from her as well. Overall a great figure for those looking for something perverted but with style. I can guarantee though that you’ll run into some problems with her and she won’t be your perfect hentai figure. Bonus pics time.

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Belt and no panties because panties are the bane of my existence.

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Enjoy it while it lasts Woody. I’m sending this thing back to my friend’s place on the first chance I get.

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I can’t promise more hentai figures, but I can promise more good stuff in the future so check out the Facebook page to keep updated.

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